5 Tips To Avoid Comparing.

Social media is great right? 
It has allowed us to connect with people all over the world, build/join communities we otherwise couldn't have. But it has also given us a million and one moment snippets a day to make us feel we will never measure up. It is whats been coined as the 'comparison trap'.

Recently I read an article that gives an insight how twitter can increase anxiety. One line I did resonate with very much said that social media "". I think its true across the board whether your platform of choice is Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Facebook or perhaps all of them. We all know that the act of comparing is normal human institution and in its best to  encourages us to improve our lives. But at its worst it can make us fell overwhelmed, stressed and anxious.

Like many of you that might relate on this I did go through a comparison spiral last year, I looked around for online advice and all I constantly read that we should remind ourselves about the reality of other people lives and remembering that social platforms are highlighted reel rather a true reflection. The tip was useful, but at the end of the day they still focussing on other, rather than considering the actual tools that help us avoid or halt comparison. Over the last six months or so I've been testing out a few tactics for dealing with the comparison trap in a practical way, and of course wanted to share them with you. There are probably lots of other ways to approach this, so I'd love to hear your thoughts

Start your day without comparison.
You've heard of starting the day on the wrong side of the bed rights saying before? Well, the absolute definition of starting the day poorly is on the wrong side of the bed, and that with your phone in your hand and your head full of comparison.

Activity: Leave your phone outside of your bedroom overnight and don't turn it on until an hour or so after you've woken up. And if your phone is also your alarm then maybe its time to invest in an actual alarm.Start your day without scrolling through the comment, tweet and other people filtered lives. Grab a book or watch an episode of your favourite TV show if you want to do something in the morning! More on morning routine

Curate your feed.
You can choose the imagery that you and the lives you connect to, so make sure that you do that mindfully, with the goals of only allowing that which is useful and inspiring. Avoid people who make you react with a feeling of comparison. In addition to that, purge your feed of the 'hate follow' (people you follow or check for negative entertainment)

Activity: Have a look through who you follow and purge yourself of any people or companies on your feed that you follow out of anything other than inspiration, love or genuine interest.

Focus on your own goal.
If you run your own business or blog(and even if you don't) the comparison trap can amplify not only feeling of not being good enough, but stress related to wanting to succeed at everything at once a feeling (in my case at least) paralyses rather than motives. Late last year I was stuck in a bit of a terminal loop, spending too much time unproductively on social media, with everyone success in highlighting a feeling of being a bit stalled. Looking back its clear that this feeling was such a waste of time and brainpower,

Both of which could have been channeled into working more on my own goals, which ironically would have made me feel anything but stalled. Avoiding the comparison trap takes the same type of will power as it does to move on from a relationship- and if there's one thing that helps to get over that crappy boyfriend is focusing on you. So while comparing yourself to others online is normal, think about how much time you are wasting when instead you could be focusing on your own goals and moving your life in the direction you choose.

Activity: It's easy to waste time comparing yourself and confuse your goals if you have any clear ones for yourself. Sit down and take some time to develop your short and long term goals

They're just numbers 
Starting out as a blogger its a little hard to stick to this one at times, and the comparison trap isn't only about the content you are seeing, but people reaction to the content in cold hard numbers. Its easy for likes, views and follows to be comparison points in themselves. but again, this is such an annoying feeling and that can distract you from focusing on creating a loyal community or engaging content. And in an industry where there are so many ways to generate false numbers, its important to remember that you could be wasting comparing apples (genuine audience) and oranges (engagement faked using comment pods, loop giveaways, bots)

Activity: Stop focusing on other people number and comparing them with yours , focus instead on your own community and creating amazing content and speaking directly to your audience. This is what will win you a truly loyal audience in the long run. 

Do one thing for someone else
If all else fails? Do something for others around you. The comparison trap is, in essence, a self-indulgent emotion, going out and being with other people and helping them in whatever possible way you can (call a friend, walk your neighbours dog and maybe volunteer) is a simple but effective way to stop yourself from indulging in these, lets be honest, pointless thoughts.

Activity: feeling awful because everyone life seems so much better than yours? it might be time to and do something for someone else, something will be sure to take you mind of , and give you the perspective you need. 

Do you ever find yourself in the comparison trap?

Do your thing girl x


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